no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Come share oat with me in your robe
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
