she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she told me i tasted like america
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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