Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
