It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
