perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just puked most of my soul out..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize