i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
As shirtless as possible
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
