Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
