you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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