While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
