fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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