Don't you send me to vm
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
