she looked like the bat from fern gully.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
