So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
