I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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