literally had 100 drinks last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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