I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
