Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
