Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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