He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
