I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
