Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize