Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
