Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize