Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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