break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
