and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
