Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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