Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
