Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize