...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize