sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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