I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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