She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well you can't waste a boner
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize