And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
