Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
