Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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