and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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