You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
