Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize