I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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