he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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