i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
