yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish you could order shots online.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
