Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize