it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
