Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
