I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
