went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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