k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
