My room smells like vodka and shame
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
