So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
