Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize