Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
