I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just want nice things and good sex
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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