Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
