You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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