i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
